Grocery Shopping Rant

An exercise in writing about how much I loathe grocery shopping.

I try to avoid grocery shopping as much as possible, but to my great dismay, it is somehwat unavoidable. I mean, you gotta eat right?

I hate walking through those doors with the high ceilings and the artificial lights. I hate trying to find a cart that doesn't pull too far in one direction or the other. I hate when someone is standing in front of what you want just staring at it as though it is will magically change. I hate searching for items on my list that are in the completely wrong place-like how canned mushrooms are by the spaghetti instead of the canned vegetables.

The thing I hate most about it, the money I spend. It is so much more than anyone I know, and I can't figure out why. I do all the ad shopping, have tried coupon clipping, and even went as far as price matching. (A somewhat humble experience). And still I end up spending far more than I think I should. It just ticks me off every time. Spending so much money on stuff that in two weeks will be literally, waste.

The other thing that irritates me is the time I spend. I usually go to two stores because I don't buy my meat at the same place I buy everything else so it ends up taking me almost 3 hours. There are a million other things I want to be spending my time on.

If I could, I would pay someone to do it for me. Too bad I can't afford it.

Trying to overcome the fear

Right now I am nearly paralyzed with fear, and when I am afraid of something I just procrastinate it for as long as possible. I don't think I can come up with anymore excuses though, it is time. Time to start sending out queries and trying to get an agent.

The reason I am so afraid is because of past failures. A few years ago I wrote a book and thought okay, great, wrote a book, send it out. Anyone who knows anything about publishing could tell you what a mistake that is. Thankfully, I joined the League of Writers and learned the process.

So this time, I wrote the book and then edited it 12 times. I had other people read it and then edited it again. Then I paid a local company to edit it. Then went through it a few more times.

Then I wrote my query letter. I read a book about writing query letters, I attended several conferences about it. I read tons of examples on the Internet. Then I begged a local author who wrote the book I read about querying to take a look at my letter. She graciously did, and sent back some changes.

For the last few months I have been using the excuse of the synopsis. I attended a conference where they gave some good advice. I read some examples and some advice on the Internet. I had a few people read it, and then sent it to my most trusted writing friend to review.

Now I am basically out of excuses, but I am still to afraid to send it out. I don't think the work could be anymore ready, but it is still bound for rejection. Tons and tons of rejection. Tomorrow I will test it, and send out a query letter, and hope for the best.

Why Women Read More Than Men

I read a twitter post today saying that you want women to like you book because they are the ones who are reading. I wasn't sure if it is true, I mean, I come from a family of readers. My brothers read, my dad does, and my husband reads a lot. My best friends husband is the one who got me into reading classics.

So I looked it up. According to an NPR article (Why Women Read More than Men)48% of women reported being frequent readers, while only 26% of men do. Of them, only account for 20% of the fiction readers. So men aren't reading, but when they are, it is non-fiction.

The article suggested that women are more empathetic and have a greater emotional range, allowing then to enjoy fiction more.

My first thought was, women enjoy the escape from reality more. I don't know if that is just me, but when I asked my husband he said the same thing. It isn't that life is so bad, it is just nice to have a break once and awhile. I love to escape into a world of fantasy where kids can fly and vampires are perfectly beautiful. I want to create this world for other people, so they can have an enjoyable experience for an afternoon, before they have to get back to real life and make dinner.

Reading in the schools makes me worry

Every wednesday I go to my youngests child's class, and have the kids read words to me. There are 23 kids in his class, and I would say 3/4 of them get most if not all of the words right. Thankfully my boys is among them.

But I am worried about the other 1/4 of the class. The kids who can only read one or two words out of 14. I have been doing this with them every week for the entire school year, and it is the same kids who are struggling. Not only that, but as the words get harder, they are falling further and further behind. I can't see that anything is being done about it.

Thanks to the no child left behind, they will be passes up to the next grade, and become the next teachers problem. I want to do something, but I don't know what, and besides it doesn't feel like it my place.

It makes me so sad. I get so much joy from reading, but even if they do eventually learn, they probably will hate it. The entire situation is a shame.

Synopsis can be boring.

I read a tweet today that synopsis can and should be dry. I almost jumped for joy, hoping this person truly knows what they are talking about. Cuz the problem is, I have been stuck on my synopsis for my book for about 3 months.

I mean putting my entire novel into as little words as possible while still covering the story is daunting. I took a class that suggests you write it before you begin writing the book, so I did. I read it recently and let me just say, it was terrible. Not just a little either.

Luckily, I recently went to a writing conference where someone made a small comment about them. (Note-to-self: someday do a class on how to write synopsis because there isn't enough info. about them.) The comment was how your synopsis should have your main character's arc. It was like light went on inside my head, and I was like duh! Why didn't I think of that?

Since then it has been so much easier. But I still am reading it and thinking, this is not as good as my book. How will I get an agent with this? Now I am hoping that the agents realize this is a quick draft of my book, just to let them know: yes she can write a story. I want to see more.

Now I have to get my nerve up and start sending it out. Ugh!

I love TV!

I don't know why people get this condescending tone when they say, "I never watch TV" like it is something to brag about. I always want to tell them how sorry I feel for them, and how they are missing out on some killer story lines. I just wish I had even more time to watch TV.

I love the way I get caught up in a story and I start to care about these people as if they are actually a part of my life, and in a way they are. I see them every week and I watch as this awful stuff happens in their lives and how they overcome it, or don't. I love the character development and how it can go on for years.

I really feel like some of the best writers work for TV. One of my favorites is Mark Schwahn who created and wrote episodes of One Tree Hill. His words have really moved me.

So I will continue to watch more TV and love it.

The Stay at Home Mom's Dilema

When I was in first grade my mom went back to work full time. I ended up going to neighbor's houses and it was awful. Always being the guest, never feeling like I belonged anywhere. So I vowed I would never do that to my kids.

This year my youngest started first grade and it put a spin on my life. All the sudden I felt like I couldn't justify being home when they were gone most of the time. I started looking for a job with hours when they were in school. I couldn't find a fit and I was still left with the dilema of what to do when they go off track.

Of course I want to be a full time author and do most of my work from home, with the exception of travel to promote my book, but until that time comes I find myself wondering what should I do? Is it okay to be home when your kids aren't?

Today my oldest was home sick for with a fever and I was glad I didn't have a job and I didn't have to worry about arranging not to be there or someone else to take care of my sick kido. I also volunteer in my kids classes once a week and help with every party and every field trip. I love it, but I can't rid myself of the guilt. Particularly when my husband gets up at 4 am to go to his first of two jobs.

I don't know, maybe when they are older the answer will be more clear. For know I will just try to enjoy my time and tell the guilt to take a hike!